If Yosuke had shared this earlier, he might have accepted it. Might have realized that Yosuke was telling the truth, that his very soul thrummed with the truth in his words, buried as it was under guilt and anxiety.
If Adachi hadn't saved Ichigo from things, been there when he was at his lowest points over and over, been anything but friendly and helpful, then he would have believed.
And if he hadn't already had the seeds of doubt planted in his mind, then maybe...maybe, he wouldn't be suddenly looking at Yosuke with such distrust.]
Why didn't you tell me?!
[There has to be a reason. A reason why Yosuke wouldn't tell him about the things he's accusing Adachi of doing?
[The extreme shift in Ichigo's demeanor draws Yosuke's gaze back yet again, and for a few seconds he feels himself worry for his friend. Is he going to fall over? What... they weren't, like, actual buddies or something, were they?
...Adachi is such garbage.
But Yosuke is garbage, too. For letting it happen, for letting it get to this... God, why did they ever think that playing along with his deception was a good idea? To save people? To keep Adachi from hurting anyone?
Hah. This is the Box. So much for that, so much for anything.]
W-What do you mean, why didn't I tell you? [Yosuke is immediately defensive, but his voice is dripping with self-awareness.] How was I supposed to know you guys were - were best friends, or whatever?
[That's the worst thing that Yosuke could have done in this situation. Being on the defensive means he's hiding something, and the doubt planted in Ichigo's mind only gets larger.]
That's not what I meant! If what you're saying is true, then-you should have told me! Told everyone, if he really is that dangerous!
[That's how it works. Yosuke hated Adachi for apparently killing this Saki girl, right? Why wouldn't he tell anyone Adachi came into contact with to be careful-
careful.
It's like the gears in his head suddenly stop at that thought, at that one single word.
"I'm saying you should be a bit more careful with him. That's all."
[He's on the defensive because he is hiding something. He's been hiding it ever since he trudged through the quickly flooding hallway of the hotel, when the ramifications of his rage and gullibility still had not sunken in.
Of course, they have by now, and this is just one of the consequences. Yosuke can't tell him. Not because of that damned deal with Adachi - although despite the situation Yosuke finds himself in now, Adachi is still honoring his side of it, as Ichigo doesn't seem to know about what happened at the flood at all - but because he doesn't want to tell him. He's ashamed of himself.
His defensive outburst was snubbed out. Now, he slowly begins to slump again under the suffocating weight of the secret.]
...because I'm a coward.
[that's the truth. the short, simple, ultimate truth, even if he isn't really answering.
he shakes his head and continues, muttering above a whisper now.] If you don't believe me, go ask the others. They'll confirm it.
That's the worst thing for Yosuke to admit to in this situation. Not when there's an apparently dangerous person on the loose-that he knows is dangerous-out and about doing whatever he wanted.
Sure, it would make sense...if Yosuke hadn't mentioned that he apparently knew that Adachi got caught. That he and his friends were able to take the detective down.
So admitting he was a coward? It might be the truth-and a painful truth it is, cracking Ichigo's image of the teenager who had extended a hand towards him in one of his lowest points-but it's not the one he wanted to hear, and definitely one that goes against his own morals.
He's glaring now, eyes practically boring a hole into the soul before him.]
...You remember what you called me before?
['A living lie detector test.' Yosuke wasn't wrong there-Ichigo has found out that people lie much more than one would think.
And there, right in front of him...he can't help but see the guilt.]
You might be a damn coward that won't even tell anyone what they need to know-but you can't lie to me.
[He wants to know.
He needs to know the secret Yosuke's hiding with all of his might, even if it tears his heart apart in the process.]
[That stings, because Yosuke knows he's already a liar. Continuing to refuse to tell him isn't going to undo what he's already done. Besides, if Ichigo can tell when people are lying, then how has this gotten this far? Couldn't he have known immediately that Adachi was full of crap...?
Biting his lip, he shakes his head again. When it stops, his face is turned away. He just can't do this right now. Not here, not while he's drowning in enough self-loathing as it is. besides, it's already Souji he's going to tell first]
...If you can tell when people are lying... you should already have all the answers to this.
[he stops. yeah, what the hell? why are they even having this conversation? is Adachi that great of a liar that Ichigo couldn't tell...?]
Why don't you go ask your buddy about it, huh? If I'm the real bad guy here, just go ask him. I don't care.
[...And Yosuke still refuses to tell him anything.]
...Fine.
[Maybe if he weren't drowning in doubt, he might notice Yosuke's own self-loathing. He definitely knew the symptoms, anyway. But...instead, he turns away, using his left arm to search for the doorway.
He's done. He's done with never getting a straight answer, with knowing that Yosuke decided that he wasn't good enough to know about whatever it was the other was hiding, even though he was the one to say that Adachi wasn't what he appeared.
And how the hell did Yosuke expect him to just...accept that, with no proof and a mountain load of guilt in his soul?]
Guess I shouldn't have expected anything else.
[His voice is low, bitter. But he doesn't stay long after saying that, instead turning the corner and walking out down the hallway.
It hurts, this whole situation.
And he's sure it won't stop hurting for a long, long time.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 03:25 am (UTC)If Yosuke had shared this earlier, he might have accepted it. Might have realized that Yosuke was telling the truth, that his very soul thrummed with the truth in his words, buried as it was under guilt and anxiety.
If Adachi hadn't saved Ichigo from things, been there when he was at his lowest points over and over, been anything but friendly and helpful, then he would have believed.
And if he hadn't already had the seeds of doubt planted in his mind, then maybe...maybe, he wouldn't be suddenly looking at Yosuke with such distrust.]
Why didn't you tell me?!
[There has to be a reason. A reason why Yosuke wouldn't tell him about the things he's accusing Adachi of doing?
...a reason he's sure he won't want to hear.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 03:50 am (UTC)...Adachi is such garbage.
But Yosuke is garbage, too. For letting it happen, for letting it get to this... God, why did they ever think that playing along with his deception was a good idea? To save people? To keep Adachi from hurting anyone?
Hah. This is the Box. So much for that, so much for anything.]
W-What do you mean, why didn't I tell you? [Yosuke is immediately defensive, but his voice is dripping with self-awareness.] How was I supposed to know you guys were - were best friends, or whatever?
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 04:07 am (UTC)That's not what I meant! If what you're saying is true, then-you should have told me! Told everyone, if he really is that dangerous!
[That's how it works. Yosuke hated Adachi for apparently killing this Saki girl, right? Why wouldn't he tell anyone Adachi came into contact with to be careful-
careful.
It's like the gears in his head suddenly stop at that thought, at that one single word.
"I'm saying you should be a bit more careful with him. That's all."
What if...What if...]
But you didn't.
Why.
[What if Yosuke is lying?]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 04:23 am (UTC)Of course, they have by now, and this is just one of the consequences. Yosuke can't tell him. Not because of that damned deal with Adachi - although despite the situation Yosuke finds himself in now, Adachi is still honoring his side of it, as Ichigo doesn't seem to know about what happened at the flood at all - but because he doesn't want to tell him. He's ashamed of himself.
His defensive outburst was snubbed out. Now, he slowly begins to slump again under the suffocating weight of the secret.]
...because I'm a coward.
[that's the truth. the short, simple, ultimate truth, even if he isn't really answering.
he shakes his head and continues, muttering above a whisper now.] If you don't believe me, go ask the others. They'll confirm it.
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 04:42 am (UTC)That's the worst thing for Yosuke to admit to in this situation. Not when there's an apparently dangerous person on the loose-that he knows is dangerous-out and about doing whatever he wanted.
Sure, it would make sense...if Yosuke hadn't mentioned that he apparently knew that Adachi got caught. That he and his friends were able to take the detective down.
So admitting he was a coward? It might be the truth-and a painful truth it is, cracking Ichigo's image of the teenager who had extended a hand towards him in one of his lowest points-but it's not the one he wanted to hear, and definitely one that goes against his own morals.
He's glaring now, eyes practically boring a hole into the soul before him.]
...You remember what you called me before?
['A living lie detector test.' Yosuke wasn't wrong there-Ichigo has found out that people lie much more than one would think.
And there, right in front of him...he can't help but see the guilt.]
You might be a damn coward that won't even tell anyone what they need to know-but you can't lie to me.
[He wants to know.
He needs to know the secret Yosuke's hiding with all of his might, even if it tears his heart apart in the process.]
Or do you want to be a liar, too?!
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 03:01 pm (UTC)Biting his lip, he shakes his head again. When it stops, his face is turned away. He just can't do this right now. Not here, not while he's drowning in enough self-loathing as it is.
besides, it's already Souji he's going to tell first]...If you can tell when people are lying... you should already have all the answers to this.
[he stops. yeah, what the hell? why are they even having this conversation? is Adachi that great of a liar that Ichigo couldn't tell...?]
Why don't you go ask your buddy about it, huh? If I'm the real bad guy here, just go ask him. I don't care.
no subject
Date: 2014-09-03 01:53 am (UTC)...Fine.
[Maybe if he weren't drowning in doubt, he might notice Yosuke's own self-loathing. He definitely knew the symptoms, anyway. But...instead, he turns away, using his left arm to search for the doorway.
He's done. He's done with never getting a straight answer, with knowing that Yosuke decided that he wasn't good enough to know about whatever it was the other was hiding, even though he was the one to say that Adachi wasn't what he appeared.
And how the hell did Yosuke expect him to just...accept that, with no proof and a mountain load of guilt in his soul?]
Guess I shouldn't have expected anything else.
[His voice is low, bitter. But he doesn't stay long after saying that, instead turning the corner and walking out down the hallway.
It hurts, this whole situation.
And he's sure it won't stop hurting for a long, long time.]