[On the outside, Yosuke does nothing but curl his hands into fists on top of the bed sheets and look away - but that tiny glimmer of fear within Yosuke suddenly blooms and explodes, and with it comes anger, that same deep-rooted, longstanding anger that Ichigo saw at his birthday party. Still as distinct as it is, it's still dwarfed by that immense feeling of fear.
Yosuke will always be mad at Adachi - that's never going to change - but Ichigo...]
What did he say? [he asks, but his voice is hard and unhappy, like he's expecting the worst: the flood, and the murder that he committed during it.
That fucking idiot. What is he doing, blurting that to Ichigo?! That's it, all bets are off. As soo as Ichigo leaves, he's pulling out his phone and telling everyone about Adachi's own transgressions, which he's so skillfully manipulated the IT into keeping to themselves. Until today.]
[There is is again-burning anger, so deep that it honestly makes Ichigo wince slightly. He really did hate Adachi, much more than he'd shown Ichigo at his birthday party.
But at the same time...why would he be feeling so much fear? That, more than anything, makes Ichigo's heart sink. If it were just fights, then...]
He, ah...told me that you've fought. I touched his nose, so...
[So he knows you've broken it twice, to get that kind of crookedness to it. He pauses for a moment, not sure if he should continue-if he should just let his curiosity rest for now, to trust Yosuke. And he might have...if he didn't see the fear.]
...And he...told me to be careful.
[His grip on his arm tightens a bit-he wants to trust Yosuke. He wants to believe that adachi wasn't implying what Ichigo thought he was implying.
But he wants the truth. More than anything...he wants to know what really happened.]
Something like relief washed over him when he realizes that must be all. If Ichigo knew that Yosuke killed him, the broken noses would have been much farther down on his list of immediate concerns, wouldn't they?
Yosuke is momentarily stunned by this betrayal of his expectations, and he looks away, trying to reformulate his thoughts as a significant portion of his anger fizzles out. Okay, so... so Adachi only told Ichigo about their fights? But - why, though? Did it come up somehow...? Did he drop those details to keep from being caught in a lie, maybe? That's definitely one possibility. Or, maybe, he's just being a douchelord. Also very possible.]
...Did he... say why?
[Maybe that's the best place to start, before Yosuke starts confessing or elaborating on anything. Maybe, at best, Adachi is just pushing his luck, and Yosuke will have to find a way to keep up the facade.]
[Ichigo doesn't almost notice the anger leaving Yosuke-but when it does, he's left in just as much in a temporary lurch as Yosuke is. He's suddenly not angry? why? Was it just the fights, and not what Ichigo suspected?
Still, when Yosuke asks...Ichigo keeps his head turned to the side. He knows his eyes give away a lot of what he's feeling, after all.]
He brought it up when I was...upset. About what you said.
[He doesn't know that he'd inadvertently switched to video and shown the beginning of tears in his eyes, but...he's not going to mention that he was so upset he ran out of the house, tripped over a trash can, and burst into tears.]
[If Adachi brought it up at a time like that, it had to be part of some manipulation. How else could it possibly be relevant? Yosuke can't contemplate a reason for Adachi to spill anything about their rocky history... unless there was some benefit to it. Something worth the risk of making Yosuke mad.
Yosuke twists the bed sheet in his hand nervously, thinking. It feels like he's walking on ice.]
No, no. I mean - did he say... why we were fighting.
[There's the first little implicit admission: yep, he broke Adachi's nose. Twice. But the wording is important here - they were fighting.]
...He didn't say. He just said that you'd fought before, and....That I should be careful of you.
[Mostly what he'd said before, but...it wasn't the words, it was how Adachi had acted. Ichigo couldn't imagine a reason for both of them to fight-well, no, maybe a few, considering what Adachi had told him about saki-but the way the detective had warned him...
...He's danced around this for long enough. Ichigo looks back at Yosuke once again, serious yet again.]
...Why would he warn me about you, Yosuke?
[Something's not adding up. There's still that fear in Yosuke's soul, even after Ichigo told him that he knew about the fights. And in Ichigo's demeanor...it's obvious that adachi did more than just warn him.
[If Yosuke were in a better state of mind, he might be able to conjure up some bullshit answer. If they hadn't fought over the network a few days ago, he might want to conjure up a bullshit answer. But he's so tired of the bullshit, and so tired of people being mad at him, of letting people down.
So he can't do it anymore.]
He warned you about me because he's a freaking liar. [He doesn't look back at Ichigo. He just glares at his lap with strained eyes, his heart pounding with anxiety.] He didn't tell you why we were fighting - but, of course not. Because if he did, he'd have to tell you the truth...
[His staring contest with his hands breaks as he outstretches one arm towards Ichigo. While Ichigo can't see him, exactly... maybe he can sense the movement, at least.]
One of the scars this place gave me - it's "Saki." This one on my arm. Has he ever told you who that is? He's got her name on him, too, but her last name, Konishi. And another woman's name... Mayumi Yamano. Has he ever told you about those two people?
The first person he killed. And Saki, my senpai, was the second person.
[Now, he's looking back at Ichigo, his expression hard and almost determined.
Fuck you too, Adachi.]
He killed two women back in Inaba before coming here, and Souji and me and the rest of us spent a whole year trying to find out who he was and catch him. And we did it, too, but this Adachi is - is from before that, somehow, however the Technicians manage to do it. So he doesn't remember getting his ass royally handed to him.
[Swallowing, he withdraws his arm so he can look down at the scar. Yosuke and the others had already been through so much just trying to get him the first time. Now they're here with him, all over again, and... what do they have to show for it? No, what does Yosuke have to show?
Nothing. They've just been letting him lie to everyone instead of dealing with the problem.]
...He's a liar. A really good one. He's been playing you this whole time, and... I let him.
His entire body goes rigid with shock, eyes widening enough to turn his pupils into tiny pinpricks. He almost, almost goes to his knees, just managing to stay upright by grabbing the wall to support himself.
Adachi did....? Adachi murdered two women? Adachi?
There's no way. The disbelief begins to break through the shock, the utter hurt at his thoughts that the detective could do something like that. The same guy who'd been there for him, helped him, saved him from things? Who listened to him, shared things with him....that he could be a murderer?
He doesn't say anything for a long moment, just breathing and trying to comprehend it all. Adachi was a murderer? Adachi was...?]
If Yosuke had shared this earlier, he might have accepted it. Might have realized that Yosuke was telling the truth, that his very soul thrummed with the truth in his words, buried as it was under guilt and anxiety.
If Adachi hadn't saved Ichigo from things, been there when he was at his lowest points over and over, been anything but friendly and helpful, then he would have believed.
And if he hadn't already had the seeds of doubt planted in his mind, then maybe...maybe, he wouldn't be suddenly looking at Yosuke with such distrust.]
Why didn't you tell me?!
[There has to be a reason. A reason why Yosuke wouldn't tell him about the things he's accusing Adachi of doing?
[The extreme shift in Ichigo's demeanor draws Yosuke's gaze back yet again, and for a few seconds he feels himself worry for his friend. Is he going to fall over? What... they weren't, like, actual buddies or something, were they?
...Adachi is such garbage.
But Yosuke is garbage, too. For letting it happen, for letting it get to this... God, why did they ever think that playing along with his deception was a good idea? To save people? To keep Adachi from hurting anyone?
Hah. This is the Box. So much for that, so much for anything.]
W-What do you mean, why didn't I tell you? [Yosuke is immediately defensive, but his voice is dripping with self-awareness.] How was I supposed to know you guys were - were best friends, or whatever?
[That's the worst thing that Yosuke could have done in this situation. Being on the defensive means he's hiding something, and the doubt planted in Ichigo's mind only gets larger.]
That's not what I meant! If what you're saying is true, then-you should have told me! Told everyone, if he really is that dangerous!
[That's how it works. Yosuke hated Adachi for apparently killing this Saki girl, right? Why wouldn't he tell anyone Adachi came into contact with to be careful-
careful.
It's like the gears in his head suddenly stop at that thought, at that one single word.
"I'm saying you should be a bit more careful with him. That's all."
[He's on the defensive because he is hiding something. He's been hiding it ever since he trudged through the quickly flooding hallway of the hotel, when the ramifications of his rage and gullibility still had not sunken in.
Of course, they have by now, and this is just one of the consequences. Yosuke can't tell him. Not because of that damned deal with Adachi - although despite the situation Yosuke finds himself in now, Adachi is still honoring his side of it, as Ichigo doesn't seem to know about what happened at the flood at all - but because he doesn't want to tell him. He's ashamed of himself.
His defensive outburst was snubbed out. Now, he slowly begins to slump again under the suffocating weight of the secret.]
...because I'm a coward.
[that's the truth. the short, simple, ultimate truth, even if he isn't really answering.
he shakes his head and continues, muttering above a whisper now.] If you don't believe me, go ask the others. They'll confirm it.
That's the worst thing for Yosuke to admit to in this situation. Not when there's an apparently dangerous person on the loose-that he knows is dangerous-out and about doing whatever he wanted.
Sure, it would make sense...if Yosuke hadn't mentioned that he apparently knew that Adachi got caught. That he and his friends were able to take the detective down.
So admitting he was a coward? It might be the truth-and a painful truth it is, cracking Ichigo's image of the teenager who had extended a hand towards him in one of his lowest points-but it's not the one he wanted to hear, and definitely one that goes against his own morals.
He's glaring now, eyes practically boring a hole into the soul before him.]
...You remember what you called me before?
['A living lie detector test.' Yosuke wasn't wrong there-Ichigo has found out that people lie much more than one would think.
And there, right in front of him...he can't help but see the guilt.]
You might be a damn coward that won't even tell anyone what they need to know-but you can't lie to me.
[He wants to know.
He needs to know the secret Yosuke's hiding with all of his might, even if it tears his heart apart in the process.]
[That stings, because Yosuke knows he's already a liar. Continuing to refuse to tell him isn't going to undo what he's already done. Besides, if Ichigo can tell when people are lying, then how has this gotten this far? Couldn't he have known immediately that Adachi was full of crap...?
Biting his lip, he shakes his head again. When it stops, his face is turned away. He just can't do this right now. Not here, not while he's drowning in enough self-loathing as it is. besides, it's already Souji he's going to tell first]
...If you can tell when people are lying... you should already have all the answers to this.
[he stops. yeah, what the hell? why are they even having this conversation? is Adachi that great of a liar that Ichigo couldn't tell...?]
Why don't you go ask your buddy about it, huh? If I'm the real bad guy here, just go ask him. I don't care.
[...And Yosuke still refuses to tell him anything.]
...Fine.
[Maybe if he weren't drowning in doubt, he might notice Yosuke's own self-loathing. He definitely knew the symptoms, anyway. But...instead, he turns away, using his left arm to search for the doorway.
He's done. He's done with never getting a straight answer, with knowing that Yosuke decided that he wasn't good enough to know about whatever it was the other was hiding, even though he was the one to say that Adachi wasn't what he appeared.
And how the hell did Yosuke expect him to just...accept that, with no proof and a mountain load of guilt in his soul?]
Guess I shouldn't have expected anything else.
[His voice is low, bitter. But he doesn't stay long after saying that, instead turning the corner and walking out down the hallway.
It hurts, this whole situation.
And he's sure it won't stop hurting for a long, long time.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 03:25 am (UTC)Yosuke will always be mad at Adachi - that's never going to change - but Ichigo...]
What did he say? [he asks, but his voice is hard and unhappy, like he's expecting the worst: the flood, and the murder that he committed during it.
That fucking idiot. What is he doing, blurting that to Ichigo?! That's it, all bets are off. As soo as Ichigo leaves, he's pulling out his phone and telling everyone about Adachi's own transgressions, which he's so skillfully manipulated the IT into keeping to themselves. Until today.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 03:34 am (UTC)But at the same time...why would he be feeling so much fear? That, more than anything, makes Ichigo's heart sink. If it were just fights, then...]
He, ah...told me that you've fought. I touched his nose, so...
[So he knows you've broken it twice, to get that kind of crookedness to it. He pauses for a moment, not sure if he should continue-if he should just let his curiosity rest for now, to trust Yosuke. And he might have...if he didn't see the fear.]
...And he...told me to be careful.
[His grip on his arm tightens a bit-he wants to trust Yosuke. He wants to believe that adachi wasn't implying what Ichigo thought he was implying.
But he wants the truth. More than anything...he wants to know what really happened.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 04:07 am (UTC)Something like relief washed over him when he realizes that must be all. If Ichigo knew that Yosuke killed him, the broken noses would have been much farther down on his list of immediate concerns, wouldn't they?
Yosuke is momentarily stunned by this betrayal of his expectations, and he looks away, trying to reformulate his thoughts as a significant portion of his anger fizzles out. Okay, so... so Adachi only told Ichigo about their fights? But - why, though? Did it come up somehow...? Did he drop those details to keep from being caught in a lie, maybe? That's definitely one possibility. Or, maybe, he's just being a douchelord. Also very possible.]
...Did he... say why?
[Maybe that's the best place to start, before Yosuke starts confessing or elaborating on anything. Maybe, at best, Adachi is just pushing his luck, and Yosuke will have to find a way to keep up the facade.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 04:25 am (UTC)Still, when Yosuke asks...Ichigo keeps his head turned to the side. He knows his eyes give away a lot of what he's feeling, after all.]
He brought it up when I was...upset. About what you said.
[He doesn't know that he'd inadvertently switched to video and shown the beginning of tears in his eyes, but...he's not going to mention that he was so upset he ran out of the house, tripped over a trash can, and burst into tears.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 04:52 am (UTC)Yosuke twists the bed sheet in his hand nervously, thinking. It feels like he's walking on ice.]
No, no. I mean - did he say... why we were fighting.
[There's the first little implicit admission: yep, he broke Adachi's nose. Twice. But the wording is important here - they were fighting.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 05:12 am (UTC)[Mostly what he'd said before, but...it wasn't the words, it was how Adachi had acted. Ichigo couldn't imagine a reason for both of them to fight-well, no, maybe a few, considering what Adachi had told him about saki-but the way the detective had warned him...
...He's danced around this for long enough. Ichigo looks back at Yosuke once again, serious yet again.]
...Why would he warn me about you, Yosuke?
[Something's not adding up. There's still that fear in Yosuke's soul, even after Ichigo told him that he knew about the fights. And in Ichigo's demeanor...it's obvious that adachi did more than just warn him.
He hinted at something.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-01 04:07 pm (UTC)So he can't do it anymore.]
He warned you about me because he's a freaking liar. [He doesn't look back at Ichigo. He just glares at his lap with strained eyes, his heart pounding with anxiety.] He didn't tell you why we were fighting - but, of course not. Because if he did, he'd have to tell you the truth...
[His staring contest with his hands breaks as he outstretches one arm towards Ichigo. While Ichigo can't see him, exactly... maybe he can sense the movement, at least.]
One of the scars this place gave me - it's "Saki." This one on my arm. Has he ever told you who that is? He's got her name on him, too, but her last name, Konishi. And another woman's name... Mayumi Yamano. Has he ever told you about those two people?
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 12:44 am (UTC)Yeah, he told me about Konishi. He said she'd been murdered...
[And that Yosuke had a thing for her. Ichigo doesn't mention it, but...with the way he trails off, it's pretty clear that he knows.]
But he didn't tell me about the other lady. Who is she?
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 02:56 am (UTC)[Now, he's looking back at Ichigo, his expression hard and almost determined.
Fuck you too, Adachi.]
He killed two women back in Inaba before coming here, and Souji and me and the rest of us spent a whole year trying to find out who he was and catch him. And we did it, too, but this Adachi is - is from before that, somehow, however the Technicians manage to do it. So he doesn't remember getting his ass royally handed to him.
[Swallowing, he withdraws his arm so he can look down at the scar. Yosuke and the others had already been through so much just trying to get him the first time. Now they're here with him, all over again, and... what do they have to show for it? No, what does Yosuke have to show?
Nothing. They've just been letting him lie to everyone instead of dealing with the problem.]
...He's a liar. A really good one. He's been playing you this whole time, and... I let him.
1/2
Date: 2014-09-02 03:18 am (UTC)...well, it's probably a sight to see.
His entire body goes rigid with shock, eyes widening enough to turn his pupils into tiny pinpricks. He almost, almost goes to his knees, just managing to stay upright by grabbing the wall to support himself.
Adachi did....? Adachi murdered two women? Adachi?
There's no way. The disbelief begins to break through the shock, the utter hurt at his thoughts that the detective could do something like that. The same guy who'd been there for him, helped him, saved him from things? Who listened to him, shared things with him....that he could be a murderer?
He doesn't say anything for a long moment, just breathing and trying to comprehend it all. Adachi was a murderer? Adachi was...?]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 03:25 am (UTC)If Yosuke had shared this earlier, he might have accepted it. Might have realized that Yosuke was telling the truth, that his very soul thrummed with the truth in his words, buried as it was under guilt and anxiety.
If Adachi hadn't saved Ichigo from things, been there when he was at his lowest points over and over, been anything but friendly and helpful, then he would have believed.
And if he hadn't already had the seeds of doubt planted in his mind, then maybe...maybe, he wouldn't be suddenly looking at Yosuke with such distrust.]
Why didn't you tell me?!
[There has to be a reason. A reason why Yosuke wouldn't tell him about the things he's accusing Adachi of doing?
...a reason he's sure he won't want to hear.]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 03:50 am (UTC)...Adachi is such garbage.
But Yosuke is garbage, too. For letting it happen, for letting it get to this... God, why did they ever think that playing along with his deception was a good idea? To save people? To keep Adachi from hurting anyone?
Hah. This is the Box. So much for that, so much for anything.]
W-What do you mean, why didn't I tell you? [Yosuke is immediately defensive, but his voice is dripping with self-awareness.] How was I supposed to know you guys were - were best friends, or whatever?
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 04:07 am (UTC)That's not what I meant! If what you're saying is true, then-you should have told me! Told everyone, if he really is that dangerous!
[That's how it works. Yosuke hated Adachi for apparently killing this Saki girl, right? Why wouldn't he tell anyone Adachi came into contact with to be careful-
careful.
It's like the gears in his head suddenly stop at that thought, at that one single word.
"I'm saying you should be a bit more careful with him. That's all."
What if...What if...]
But you didn't.
Why.
[What if Yosuke is lying?]
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 04:23 am (UTC)Of course, they have by now, and this is just one of the consequences. Yosuke can't tell him. Not because of that damned deal with Adachi - although despite the situation Yosuke finds himself in now, Adachi is still honoring his side of it, as Ichigo doesn't seem to know about what happened at the flood at all - but because he doesn't want to tell him. He's ashamed of himself.
His defensive outburst was snubbed out. Now, he slowly begins to slump again under the suffocating weight of the secret.]
...because I'm a coward.
[that's the truth. the short, simple, ultimate truth, even if he isn't really answering.
he shakes his head and continues, muttering above a whisper now.] If you don't believe me, go ask the others. They'll confirm it.
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 04:42 am (UTC)That's the worst thing for Yosuke to admit to in this situation. Not when there's an apparently dangerous person on the loose-that he knows is dangerous-out and about doing whatever he wanted.
Sure, it would make sense...if Yosuke hadn't mentioned that he apparently knew that Adachi got caught. That he and his friends were able to take the detective down.
So admitting he was a coward? It might be the truth-and a painful truth it is, cracking Ichigo's image of the teenager who had extended a hand towards him in one of his lowest points-but it's not the one he wanted to hear, and definitely one that goes against his own morals.
He's glaring now, eyes practically boring a hole into the soul before him.]
...You remember what you called me before?
['A living lie detector test.' Yosuke wasn't wrong there-Ichigo has found out that people lie much more than one would think.
And there, right in front of him...he can't help but see the guilt.]
You might be a damn coward that won't even tell anyone what they need to know-but you can't lie to me.
[He wants to know.
He needs to know the secret Yosuke's hiding with all of his might, even if it tears his heart apart in the process.]
Or do you want to be a liar, too?!
no subject
Date: 2014-09-02 03:01 pm (UTC)Biting his lip, he shakes his head again. When it stops, his face is turned away. He just can't do this right now. Not here, not while he's drowning in enough self-loathing as it is.
besides, it's already Souji he's going to tell first]...If you can tell when people are lying... you should already have all the answers to this.
[he stops. yeah, what the hell? why are they even having this conversation? is Adachi that great of a liar that Ichigo couldn't tell...?]
Why don't you go ask your buddy about it, huh? If I'm the real bad guy here, just go ask him. I don't care.
no subject
Date: 2014-09-03 01:53 am (UTC)...Fine.
[Maybe if he weren't drowning in doubt, he might notice Yosuke's own self-loathing. He definitely knew the symptoms, anyway. But...instead, he turns away, using his left arm to search for the doorway.
He's done. He's done with never getting a straight answer, with knowing that Yosuke decided that he wasn't good enough to know about whatever it was the other was hiding, even though he was the one to say that Adachi wasn't what he appeared.
And how the hell did Yosuke expect him to just...accept that, with no proof and a mountain load of guilt in his soul?]
Guess I shouldn't have expected anything else.
[His voice is low, bitter. But he doesn't stay long after saying that, instead turning the corner and walking out down the hallway.
It hurts, this whole situation.
And he's sure it won't stop hurting for a long, long time.]